Discussion:
groan
(too old to reply)
Janitor Boy Jr
2008-05-01 18:27:27 UTC
Permalink
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients
were shouting, "13....13....13."... The fence was too high to see over but
I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through it to see what was
going on. Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all
started shouting "14....14....14"...

c`mon, it made me chuckle. :-)
--
~Mike~
45°7'58"N 89°9'5"W
ROY!
2008-05-01 21:02:16 UTC
Permalink
Post by Janitor Boy Jr
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients
were shouting, "13....13....13."... The fence was too high to see over but
I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through it to see what was
going on. Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all
started shouting "14....14....14"...
c`mon, it made me chuckle. :-)
I will make good use of that, thanks!
Froggie the Gremlin
2008-05-01 21:51:38 UTC
Permalink
A man sits silently, waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor
comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms
or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises
him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad
takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is very proud of him
and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the
bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in
disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then
bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink
again. The patrons chant...

"Take another drink!"

The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. The son takes
another sip and... Swoooosh! Plip! Plop!! Two arms pop out. The bar
goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant...

"Take another drink! Take another drink!!"

The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing
glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

By now the boy is getting a bit tipsy, but with his new arms and hands
he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop!
Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos!

The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks the Lord. The boy
stands up on his new legs, stumbles a bit to the left then staggers to
the right, through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs
over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls absolutely silent. The father moans in grief. The
bartender sighs and says...

"Ya know... he should've quit while he was a head!.."
ROY!
2008-05-01 22:15:40 UTC
Permalink
On Thu, 01 May 2008 21:51:38 GMT, Froggie the Gremlin
Post by Froggie the Gremlin
A man sits silently, waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor
"Ya know... he should've quit while he was a head!.."
I don't think that qualified as a groan. For lack of a better
descriptive I want to call it a clank. Anyhow, please try again.
Froggie the Gremlin
2008-05-02 01:14:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by ROY!
On Thu, 01 May 2008 21:51:38 GMT, Froggie the Gremlin
Post by Froggie the Gremlin
A man sits silently, waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor
"Ya know... he should've quit while he was a head!.."
I don't think that qualified as a groan. For lack of a better
descriptive I want to call it a clank. Anyhow, please try again.
Clank 2
---------

A redneck walks down to his favorite bar, ties his dog to a tree outside
and goes in to have a beer.

Twenty minutes later, a policeman enters the bar and asks...

"Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?"

The redneck said it was his.

"Your dog seems to be in heat!" the officer said.

The redneck replied...

"No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade
tree."

The policeman said...

"No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred."

"No way," said the redneck. "That dog don't need no bread. She
ain't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin'."

The exasperated policeman says...

"NO! You don't understand... your dog wants to have sex!'

The redneck looks at the cop and says...

"Well... go ahead if ya like. I always wanted a police dog."
Gordon
2008-05-04 02:46:31 UTC
Permalink
Post by Froggie the Gremlin
Post by ROY!
On Thu, 01 May 2008 21:51:38 GMT, Froggie the Gremlin
Post by Froggie the Gremlin
A man sits silently, waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor
"Ya know... he should've quit while he was a head!.."
I don't think that qualified as a groan. For lack of a better
descriptive I want to call it a clank. Anyhow, please try again.
Clank 2
---------
A redneck walks down to his favorite bar, ties his dog to a tree
outside and goes in to have a beer.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman enters the bar and asks...
"Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?"
The redneck said it was his.
"Your dog seems to be in heat!" the officer said.
The redneck replied...
"No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade
tree."
The policeman said...
"No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred."
"No way," said the redneck. "That dog don't need no bread.
She
ain't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin'."
The exasperated policeman says...
"NO! You don't understand... your dog wants to have sex!'
The redneck looks at the cop and says...
"Well... go ahead if ya like. I always wanted a police dog."
The next policeman you are going to see is the humor police comin'
to take you away.
Janitor Boy Jr
2008-05-04 03:41:53 UTC
Permalink
On Sun, 04 May 2008 02:46:31 +0000, Gordon tossed this out for all to see:

<snipped>
The next policeman you are going to see is the humor police comin' to take
you away.
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy
to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming
to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
--
~Mike~
45°7'58"N 89°9'5"W
ROY!
2008-05-04 15:05:38 UTC
Permalink
Post by Janitor Boy Jr
<snipped>
The next policeman you are going to see is the humor police comin' to take
you away.
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy
to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming
to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
Easy there, Napoleon......................
ROY!
2008-05-04 15:07:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by Gordon
The next policeman you are going to see is the humor police comin'
to take you away.
See what ya started?

Janitor Boy Jr
2008-05-02 00:21:54 UTC
Permalink
On Thu, 01 May 2008 21:51:38 +0000, Froggie the Gremlin tossed this out
Post by Froggie the Gremlin
"Ya know... he should've quit while he was a head!.."
15.....15.....15...
--
~Mike~
45°7'58"N 89°9'5"W
Jay Weedon
2008-05-02 03:19:53 UTC
Permalink
Post by Janitor Boy Jr
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients
were shouting, "13....13....13."... The fence was too high to see over but
I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through it to see what was
going on. Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all
started shouting "14....14....14"...
c`mon, it made me chuckle. :-)
The old ones are always the best eh?

CK
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